And maybe the most important — that my family did not really ignore me, they were just so ashamed of what they did that they could not face me at all. He hammered into my head that my family — grandparents, uncles and aunts but most of all Dad and my brothers - were in pain just as I was, yet by Dad's orders no one could explain to me what was going on. He kept hammering into my head that if there had been any blame it should be my Dad. First, because he did not insist on getting professional help for mother on time, second, for involving so many people and yet giving the order not to tell me anything, and third — for running away to his overseas jobs and not being nearby to help those who needed help.On the fourth day he gave me the shock. A strong shock just as he said it would be.An orderly brought a man into the room. At first glance the man reminded me of photographs taken at the concentration camps at the end of World War II. He was terribly thin, bald, two front teeth missing,. I said ' I told him he can sleep here rather in the cramped bed space he has near exit if no one else come here' . I could see was not so convinced. He told he wanted to smoke before calling it a night and I blurted out mind if I come with you too. He said Ok and also offered to check if the exit area was clear. He checked and as it was clear he asked me to come. I wrapped the sheet around my self and got up. HE said ' no need for the sheet there is no one out there and beside you look pretty good in your nighty'( that's exactly what he said though he did in HINDI) So there I was in my D cup padded bra panty and hose and wearing the see through nighty on top. We went to the exit and lit up our smokes and then came THE question 'why you dress like this?' and i said ' it makes feel more comfortable in this kind of dress and i like wearing it'. HE said he had a similar passenger a few months back but that guy stayed in his cabin and didnt do anything else. I asked what he meant by didnt.
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